April 4, 2010

Happy Spring, everyone. I thought it was time to get rid of the snowflakes on the website!

Today is Easter, a good time to connect with everyone and reflect on our blessings. It’s been a good day, and a beautiful day. Full of promise.

Winter was a little hectic. After the spelling bee at work (our major fundraiser), it was a little hard to get my energy back, but I really felt really good all through the process. Even made it through getting the spring class brochure together. Then came an old teaching plague–strep throat. Boy, I had forgotten how nasty that stuff was. And this year it took a really big toll on the energy level. I guess that was to be expected. Not just because of cancer–heck I’m a LOT older than the last time I had this stuff. (hehe) But hey, that’s a good thing, right? I’m OLDER! (I’ve quit complaining about birthdays, guys! Remember that the next time you hear me whine about gray hair.) Anyway, a big old shot and lots of antibiotics later I finally shook it. Though I’m not sure my throat’s recovered. It’s kind of like when I had mono–the throat stuff lasted months then and seems to be doing the same now. But I’m vowing to not to let it creep back in on me, by taking it easy.

We’ve entered what we call “special events season” at Community Education. Mike says Feb. to June he hardly sees me.

Well, this year he will. I’ve cut back a lot of extra activities outside of the required work stuff. The worst part is feeling guilty for not doing things and feeling like you let people down when you have to drop out of things for a while. I hate that feeling; I know how hard it is when I have projects and people have to bail out for a while. I think that’s the hardest part of all this–not being able to live up to old expectations. Guilt can often be as bad as being sick. I just have to listen to the body and soul sometimes. Mike is good at reminding me when to back off and take it easy. He should be–he catches the brunt of the emotions. (aka major AND minor meltdowns)

If I could say anything to those of you who are support systems for those of us who depend on you, it’s just be patient. Sometimes what’s going on affects more than the body. It gets to the emotions. It’s just part of the process and the whole deal. Those are the things I struggle with, I know. And those are the things that don’t show–that we the patients don’t let show. That’s when my wonderful support system steps up and says take it easy. I know everyone else out there does the same for someone in their life. At church this morning Paul told us that all of us have someone depending on us. How true, how true. I know I depend on the kindness of all of my friends and co-workers to get me through the days.

I know I don’t always show how grateful I am. PLEASE know that it doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for each and every one of you every day. I count my blessings every night before I go to sleep and every morning when I get up. I am so blessed to be living and coping with cancer so well. Even on days when I don’t feel well, I’m blessed to be able to put one foot in front of the other and just march on. So many others don’t have that ability. My strength comes from my faith, and my friends. You are so special to us.

Now that I’ve rambled on endlessly I want to say to all of you: please enjoy the spring. Enjoy the rest of Easter week with your family and friends. Go out, do good, love your neighbors, love your friends. Someone out there is depending on each one of us for something important. Most of all they’re depending on us for love. We can all do that.